31. "see you later"

today, i said "see you later" to my husband. he left for his first deployment. he will be gone for up to 270 days.

i was not ready to wake up this morning. i didn't want to have to watch him get on a bus and leave.

i had a few moments in the time leading up to this formation where i cried, but i mostly kept it together.

i am not sure anything prepares you for the feelings that come seeing your husband in that formation, hearing the chaplain prayer, hearing the speaker make his speech.

the worst part was watching him walk onto that bus. he mouthed "i love you" as he walked by, waved his final wave from the bus, and he was gone.