as the day becomes closer, i am finding myself drawing back from my friends.
this happened when aaron left for basic last year. i stopped talking to my closest friends. i didn't want to do anything but be sad. i can feel myself retracting already. i don't know how to stop it..it's just happening.
it really is bothering me and i wish i knew how to stop it.
but i am starting to be really stressed and scared about this deployment.
i know i have my girls to keep me strong.
my friends and family here to support me.
but my best friend, my other half, will be 7000+ miles away.
i can't call him anytime i need him
i can't text him
annabelle doesn't get her daddy for her birthday
neither do my twins
don't tell me i "signed up" for this...
because i didn't sign up for ANYTHING. my husband did.
we knew this was possible.
but nothing and i mean nothing, prepares you for this feeling.
feeling empty.
feeling alone.
feeling....left.
so, this is me. apologizing to my closest friends. my best friends. for not being all there. for not answering calls or texts or facebook messages. if you feel i have abandoned you, please don't give up on me. i am still here, keep trying. eventually i will get into a routine, and time will start flying by and i'll be back to semi-normal. it will take some time, but please don't give up on me.
Ashley, there is NO need to apologize!! And if friends don't understand this they are not truly your friend! I will never give up on you, take all the time you need and know I will be here when you return! If you need me for any reason and I mean ANY reason. I'm one text, call or Facebook message away!!!!
ReplyDeletethank you <3
Deletebestie - you ought to know better...i'd never ever EVER give up on you. you, the girls, and aaron are on my mind constantly. I can't wait to get out there to see you...it will be THE best reunion ever. but whenever you need an ear, even if just to vent..or listen..or anything - you KNOW I am always here for you. love you forever<3
Delete