22. how the army changed my marriage

i always thought my marriage was pretty good. i had a great man who loved me and my daughter (this was pre-twins, so i only had 1 daughter at the time). we fought, as every couple does, but nothing ever changed the fact we were in it for the long haul. when he brought up joining the military the first time (pre-marriage) i was dead set against it. no, i did not want to marry or be with a person in the military. the time apart would kill me, and i did not want our future children without their father. then, i got pregnant and life changed forever. it became about providing for our daughter and not about what i wanted. the second time he brought up the army, annabelle was just over a year old. i didn't say no, but i never agreed. we went to a recruiter a few days later, and i really thought he was just going to see what it was about. the recruiter talked to us, and aaron wanted to take a practice asvab. he took it right then and there, he decided to join that day. i kept my mouth quiet, i didn't voice my opinion or my concerns. i was scared of holding him back from something he really wanted and him resenting me later in life. so i let my husband join the army without one word of protest, even though i was screaming for him to stop inside.

he left for basic training in jan 2013. i was lost without him. it's safe to say i depended on him way to much to be happy. but i was in love with my husband and hadn't spent more than a few days apart in our 5 years of being together. i wrote him every single day while he was gone and he wrote me. i didn't expect him to write me everyday because he didn't really communicate well. he never was allowed to call, i didn't hear his voice for 3 months.

the army changed my marriage for the better. it has allowed me to realize i can do anything on my own even if it scares me. it has opened the lines of communication between aaron & i more than anything else. i try not to hold back things from him and he is much more open with me. moving away from our family has taught us to rely on each other for everything. while i don't like the fact that i have to spend time away from my husband, i know that without the army our life and marriage would be really different. so, in most ways, i am thankful he joined the army.